Patriotism is usually the refuge of the scoundrel. He is the man who talks the loudest .

Peace by persuasion has a pleasant sound, but I think we should not be able to work it. We should have to tame the human race first, and history seems to show that that cannot be done.

People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either being made.

Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; personsattempting to find a moral in it will bebanished; persons attempting to find a plot in itwill be shot.

Pity is for the living, envy is for the dead.

Plain question and plain answer make the shortest road out of most perplexities.

Plan for the future, because that is where you are going to spend the rest of your life.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

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Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason.

Politicians, old buildings, and prostitutes become respectable with age.