A reputable lawyer will advise you to keep out of the law, make the best of a foolish bargain, and not get caught again.

Therein lies the defect of revenge: it's all in the anticipation; the thing itself is a pain, not a pleasure; at least the pain is the biggest end of it.

Tea is an affront to lunch and an insult to dinner .

Kindness is a language herd by deaf men and felt by blind men.

Put no trust in the benefits to accrue from early rising, as set forth by the infatuated Franklin.

I have never taken any exercise, except sleeping and resting, and I never intend to take any. Exercise is loathsome. And it cannot be any benefit when you are tired; and I was always tired.

Teaching is like trying to hold 35 corks underwater at once.

Look at you in war...There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.

You take the lies out of him, and he'll shrink to the size of your hat; you take the malice out of him, and he'll disappear .

The blunting effects of slavery upon the slaveholder's moral perceptions are known and conceded the world over; and a privileged class, an aristocracy, is but a band of slaveholders under another name.