A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.

Failure is the only thing I've ever been a success at.

Free speech isn't dead in Germany and Italy, merely the speakers.

He was so crooked that when he died they had to screw him into the ground.

I believe a lot of you are into gardening—security officers said you were growing your own grass.

I do benefits for all religions—I’d hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.

I don’t feel old—I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap.

I don’t know what people have got against the government—they’ve done nothing.

I love to go to Washington -- if only to be near my money.

I was called "Rembrandt" Hope in my boxing days, because I spent so much time on the canvas.