If you could call the thing a horse. If it hadn't shown a flash of speed in the straight, it would have got mixed up with the next race.

To find a man's true character, play golf with him.

And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.

The real objection to the great majority of cats is their insufferable air of superiority. Cats, as a class, have never completely got over the snootiness caused by the fact that in Ancient Egypt they were worshiped as gods.

THE FASCINATION OF SHOOTING AS A SPORT DEPENDS ALMOST WHOLLY ON WHETHER YOU ARE AT THE RIGHT OR WRONG END OF THE GUN.

SUDDEN SUCCESS IN GOLF IS LIKE THE SUDDEN ACQUISITION OF WEALTH. IT IS APT TO UNSETTLE AND DETERIORATE THE CHARACTER.

CHUMPS ALWAYS MAKE THE BEST HUSBANDS… ALL THE UNHAPPY MARRIAGES COME FROM THE HUSBANDS HAVING BRAINS.

THERE ARE MEN WHO FEAR REPARTEE IN A WIFE MORE KEENLY THAN A SWORD.

I ALWAYS ADVISE PEOPLE NEVER TO GIVE ADVICE.

HAS ANYBODY EVER SEEN A DRAMA CRITIC IN THE DAYTIME? I DOUBT IT.