Nowadays men lead lives of noisy desperation.

I loathe the expression "What makes him tick." It is the American mind, looking for simple and singular solution, that uses the foolish expression. A person not only ticks, he also chimes and strikes the hour, falls and breaks and has to be put together again, and sometimes stops like an electric clock in a thunderstorm.

There is no safety in numbers, or in anything else.

It had only one fault. It was kind of lousy.

I used to wake up at 4 A.M. and start sneezing, sometimes for five hours. I tried to find out what sort of allergy I had but finally came to the conclusion that it must be an allergy to consciousness.

I think that maybe if women and children were in charge we would get somewhere.

I do not have a psychiatrist and I do not want one, for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed.

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.

A husband should not insult his wife publicly, at parties. He should insult her in the privacy of the home.

It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers.