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Quando um idiota faz alguma coisa de que se envergonha, diz que está apenas cumprindo seu dever.
O segredo do sucesso é ofender o maior número de pessoas.
Já poderíamos ter o socialismo, se não fosse pelos socialistas.
Use toda a sua saúde a ponto de esgotá-la. E gaste todo o seu dinheiro antes de morrer. Não vale a pena sobreviver a essas coisas.
Com exceção do capitalismo, não há nada mais revoltante do que uma revolução.
Posso perdoar a Alfred Nobel a invenção da dinamite, mas só um demônio teria concebido o prêmio Nobel.
Cuidado com o homem que não devolve a bofetada. Ele não a perdoou, nem permitiu que você se perdoasse.
Quando duas pessoas estão sob a influência da mais violenta, insana, enganosa e passageira das paixões, são obrigadas a jurar que continuarão naquele estado excitado, anormal e tresloucado até que a morte as separe.
A paternidade é uma profissão importante. Tão importante, aliás, que deveria exigir testes de aptidão, no interesse dos filhos.
Minha objeção aos instrumentos de sopro é que eles prolongam a vida de quem os toca.
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