The Mad Gardener's Song

The Mad Gardener's Song

He thought he saw an Elephant,
That practised on a fife:
He looked again, and found it was
A letter from his wife.
'At length I realise,' he said,
The bitterness of Life!'


He thought he saw a Buffalo
Upon the chimneypiece:
He looked again, and found it was
His Sister's Husband's Niece.
'Unless you leave this house,' he said,
'I'll send for the Police!'


He thought he saw a Rattlesnake
That questioned him in Greek:
He looked again, and found it was
The Middle of Next Week.
'The one thing I regret,' he said,
'Is that it cannot speak!'


He thought he saw a Banker's Clerk
Descending from the bus:
He looked again, and found it was
A Hippopotamus.
'If this should stay to dine,' he said,
'There won't be much for us!'


He thought he saw a Kangaroo
That worked a coffeemill:
He looked again, and found it was
A VegetablePill.
'Were I to swallow this,' he said,
'I should be very ill!'


He thought he saw a CoachandFour
That stood beside his bed:
He looked again, and found it was
A Bear without a Head.
'Poor thing,' he said, 'poor silly thing!
It's waiting to be fed!'


He thought he saw an Albatross
That fluttered round the lamp:
He looked again, and found it was
A PennyPostage
Stamp.
'You'd best be getting home,' he said:
'The nights are very damp!'


He thought he saw a GardenDoor
That opened with a key:
He looked again, and found it was



A Double Rule of Three:
'And all its mystery,' he said,
'Is clear as day to me!'


He thought he saw a Argument
That proved he was the Pope:
He looked again, and found it was
A Bar of Mottled Soap.
'A fact so dread,' he faintly said,
'Extinguishes all hope!'