It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and said, 'Remember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.

Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.

The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the 'up' button.

Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is we'll find it.