Poems List
The Turtle
The turtle lives 'twixt plated decks
Which practically conceal its sex.
I think it clever of the turtle
such a fix to be so fertile.
The Termite
Some primal termite knocked on wood
And tasted it, and found it good!
And that is why your Cousin May
Fell through the parlor floor today.
The Sunset Years of Samuel Shy
Master I may be,
But not of my fate.
Now come the kisses, too many too late.
Tell me, O Parcae,
For fain would I know,
Where were these kisses three decades ago?
Girls there were plenty,
Mint julep girls, beer girls,
Gay younger married and headstrong career girls,
The girls of my friends
And the wives of my friends,
Some smugly settled and some at loose ends,
Sad girls, serene girls,
Girls breathless and turbulent,
Debs cosmopolitan, matrons suburbulent,
All of them amiable,
All of them cordial,
Innocent rousers of instincts primordial,
But even though health and wealth
Hadn't yet missed me,
None of them,
Not even Jenny,
Once kissed me.
These very same girls
Who with me have grown older
Now freely relax with a head on my shoulder,
And now come the kisses,
A flood in full spate,
The meaningless kisses, too many too late.
They kiss me hello,
They kiss me goodbye,
Should I offer a light, there's a kiss for reply.
They kiss me at weddings,
They kiss me at wakes,
The drop of a hat is less than it takes.
They kiss me at cocktails,
They kiss me at bridge,
It's all automatic, like slapping a midge.
The sound of their kisses
Is loud in my ears
Like the locusts that swarm every seventeen years.
I'm arthritic, dyspeptic,
Potentially ulcery,
And weary of kisses by custom compulsory.
Should my dear ones commit me
As senile demential,
It's from kisses perfunctory, inconsequential.
Answer, O Parcae,
For fain would I know,
Where were these kisses three decades ago?
The Solitary Huntsman
The solitary huntsman
No coat of pink doth wear,
But midnight black from cap to spur
Upon his midnight mare.
He drones a tuneless jingle
In lieu of tally-ho:
“I’ll catch a fox
And put him in a box
And never let him go.”
The solitary huntsman,
He follows silent hounds.
No horn proclaims his joyless sport,
And never a hoofbeat sounds.
His hundred hounds, his thousands,
Their master’s will they know:
To catch a fox
And put him in a box
And never let him go.
For all the fox’s doubling
They track him to his den.
The chase may fill a morning,
Or threescore years and ten.
The huntsman never sated
Screaks to his saddlebow,
“I’ll catch another fox
And put him in a box
And never let him go.”
The Shrimp
A shrimp who sought his lady shrimp
Could catch no glimpse
Not even a glimp.
At times, translucence
Is rather a nuisance.
The Rhinoceros
The rhino is a homely beast,
For human eyes he's not a feast.
Farwell, farewell, you old rhinoceros,
I'll stare at something less prepoceros.
The Praying Mantis
From whence arrived the praying mantis?
From outer space, or lost Atlantis?
glimpse the grin, green metal mug
at masks the pseudo-saintly bug,
Orthopterous, also carnivorous,
And faintly whisper, Lord deliver us.
The Perfect Husband
He tells you when you've got on
too much lipstick
And helps you with your girdle
when your hips stick.
The Parent
Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore,
And that's what parents were created for.
The Octopus
Tell me, O Octopus, I begs
Is those things arms, or is they legs?
I marvel at thee, Octopus;
If I were thou, I'd call me Us.
Comments (0)
NoComments
Ogden Nash reads Portrait of the Artist as a Prematurely Old Man
Poetry: "No Doctor’s Today, Thank You" by Ogden Nash (read by John Lithgow)
Common Cold by Ogden Nash (read by Tom O'Bedlam)
Ogden Nash recites 'Oh, Please Don't Get Up!'
A selection of 16 short silly poems by Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash | Friday Personality | Infinity English
"A Tale of the Thirteenth Floor" by Ogden Nash (read by Tom O'Bedlam)
Good Night Sweet Mind / Ogden Nash
The People Upstairs - Poem by Ogden Nash
A Lady Who Thinks She's Thirty - Poem by Ogden Nash
"A Cursory Nursery Tale" by Ogden Nash (read by Tom O'Bedlam)
The Adventures of Isabel
Brief poems by Ogden Nash
"To My Valentine" by Ogden Nash (read by Tom O'Bedlam)
Adventures of Isabel by Ogden Nash
THE COW BY OGDEN NASH
Good Riddance, But Now What? by Ogden Nash Poem #284 31.12.20
Its Never Fair Weather, by Ogden Nash
The People Upstairs by Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash's Poetry Stash | Ogden Nash Biography | kalArt Wordsmiths
Carnival of the Animals Version With Ogden Nash Poems
The Rhinoceros by Ogden Nash
Always Marry an April Girl // Ogden Nash
"Old Men" by Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash "More About People"
A Word To Husbands // Ogden Nash
Winter Morning by Ogden Nash
"The Sunset Years of Samuel Shy" by Ogden Nash (read by Tom O'Bedlam)
The Tale of Custard the Dragon by Ogden Nash
"The Invitation Says from Five to Seven" by Ogden Nash
Winter Morning by Ogden Nash Poem #333 14.02.21
The Adventures of Isabel by Ogden Nash
Poem : The Abominable Snowman By Ogden Nash
A Word to Husbands by Ogden Nash
The Tale of Custard the Dragon by Ogden Nash (Lynn Munsinger, ill.)
The Duck, by Ogden Nash
Anne Giffey reads Ogden Nash's "The Hippopotamus" and "The Panther"
'Reflections on Ice-Breaking' by Ogden Nash
Celery by Ogden Nash
Poem : Celery by Ogden Nash
A Word to Husbands by Ogden Nash
THE ANT - poem - Ogden Nash
To My Valentine💕/Summary /Ogden Nash/pdf in description
Ogden Nash The Terrible People
THE HIPPOPOTAMUS BY OGDEN NASH
Great American Poems | The Turtle by Ogden Nash
3Poems - Ogden Nash
Poem : Crossing The Border By Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash - The Private Dining Room
A Word to Husbands (by Ogden Nash)