[ Hammer, played by Groucho Marx, speaking :] I’ll meet you tonight under the moon. Oh, I can see you now, you and the moon. You wear a necktie so I’ll know you.

[ Hammer, played by Groucho Marx, speaking :] Three years ago I came to Florida without a nickel in my pocket. And now I’ve got a nickel in my pocket.

[ J. Cheever Loophole, played by Groucho Marx, after being told that “the bottom of your shoe creates a suction that holds you up in the ceiling” :] No, no, I’d rather not. I have an agreement with the houseflies. The flies don’t practice law and I don’t walk on the ceiling.

[ J. Cheever Loophole, played by Groucho Marx, speaking :] I bet your father spent the first year of your life throwing rocks at the stork.

[ Line repeatedly spoken by Chico Marx when Groucho Marx refers to a viaduct:] Why a duck?

[ Mrs. Whitehead, played by Margaret Irving, speaking :] Why, that’s bigamy.

[ Otis B. Driftwood, played by Groucho Marx, speaking :] That’s—that’s in every contract. That’s—that’s what they call a sanity clause.

[ Professor Wagstaff, played by Groucho Marx, speaking :]

[ Question asked of losers on quiz show so that they would go away with some money :] Who is buried in Grant’s Tomb?

[ Responding to a beach club telling him he couldn’t join because he was Jewish :] My son’s only half Jewish. Would it be all right if he went in the water up to his knees?