Beware of the man who does not return your blow: he neither forgives you nor allows you to forgive yourself.

Beware of the man whose god is in the skies.

Both optimists and pessimists contribute to society. The optimist invents the aeroplane, the pessimist the parachute.

But a lifetime of happiness! No man alive could bear it: it would be hell on earth.

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Charity is the most mischievous sort of pruriency.

Chess is a foolish expedient for making idle people believe they are doing something very clever when they are only wasting their time.

Christianity might be a good thing if anyone ever tried it.

Civilization is a disease produced by the practice of building societies with rotten material.

Clever and attractive women do not want to vote; they are willing to let men govern as long as they govern men.

Common sense is instinct. Enough of it is genius.