Fishing is a delusion entirely surrounded by liars in old clothes.

Happiness is the interval between periods of unhappiness.

Honesty is a good thing, but it is not profitable to its possessor unless it is kept under control.

i have noticed / that when / chickens quit / quarreling over their / food they often / find that there is / enough for all of them / i wonder if / it might not / be the same way / with the / human race.

i never think at all when i write / nobody can do two things at the same time / and do them both well.

i suppose the human race / is doing the best it can / but hells bells thats / only an explanation / its not an excuse.

Ideas pull the trigger, but instinct loads the gun.

If a child shows himself to be incorrigible, he should be decently and quietly beheaded at the age of twelve, lest he grow to maturity marry, and perpetuate his kind.

If you want to get rich from writing, write the sort of thing that’s read by persons who move their lips when they’re reading to themselves.

insects have / their own point / of view about / civilization / a man / thinks he amounts / to a great deal / but to a / flea or a / mosquito a / human being is / merely something / good to eat.