Anguish

What if I say I shall not wait!

277

What if I say I shall not wait!
What if I burst the fleshly Gate-
And pass escaped-to thee!

What if I file this Mortal-off-
See where it hurt me-That's enough-
And wade in Liberty!

They cannot take me-any more!
Dungeons can call-and Guns implore
Unmeaning-now-to me-

As laughter-was-an hour ago-
Or Laces-or a Travelling Show-
Or who died-yesterday!

'Twas like a Maelstrom, with a notch

414

'Twas like a Maelstrom, with a notch,
That nearer, every Day,
Kept narrowing its boiling Wheel
Until the Agony


Toyed coolly with the final inch
Of your delirious Hem-
And you dropt, lost,
When something broke-
And let you from a Dream-


As if a Goblin with a Gauge-
Kept measuring the Hours-
Until you felt your Second
Weigh, helpless, in his Paws-


And not a Sinew-stirred-could help,
And sense was setting numb-
When God-remembered-and the Fiend
Let go, then, Overcome-


As if your Sentence stood-pronounced-
And you were frozen led
From Dungeon's luxury of Doubt
To Gibbets, and the Dead-


And when the Film had stitched your eyes
A Creature gasped "Reprieve"!
Which Anguish was the utterest-then-
To perish, or to live?

To learn the Transport by the Pain

167

To learn the Transport by the Pain
As Blind Men learn the sun!
To die of thirst-suspecting
That Brooks in Meadows run!


To stay the homesick-homesick feet
Upon a foreign shore-
Haunted by native lands, the while-
And blue-beloved air!


This is the Sovereign Anguish!
This-the signal woe!
These are the patient "Laureates"
Whose voices-trained-below-


Ascend in ceaseless Carol-
Inaudible, indeed,
To us-the duller scholars
Of the Mysterious Bard!

'Tis Anguish grander than Delight

984

'Tis Anguish grander than Delight
'Tis Resurrection Pain-
The meeting Bands of smitten Face
We questioned to, again.

'Tis Transport wild as thrills the Graves
When Cerements let go
And Creatures clad in Miracle
Go up by Two and Two.

There is a pain—so utter

599

There is a pain—so utter—
It swallows substance up—
Then covers the Abyss with Trance—
So Memory can step
Around—across—upon it—
As one within a Swoon—
Goes safely—where an open eye—
Would drop Him—Bone by Bone.

There is a Languor of the Life

396

There is a Languor of the Life
More imminent than Pain'
Tis Pain's Successor-When the Soul
Has suffered all it can-

A Drowsiness-diffuses-
A Dimness like a Fog
Envelops Consciousness-
As Mists-obliterate a Crag.

The Surgeon-does not blanch-at pain
His Habit-is severe-
But tell him that it ceased to feel-
The Creature lying there-

And he will tell you-skill is late-
A Mightier than He-
Has ministered before HimThere's
no Vitality.

The wind trapped like a tired man,

The wind tapped like a tired man,
And like a host, 'Come in,'
I boldly answered; entered then
My residence within


A rapid, footless guest,
To offer whom a chair
Were as impossible as hand
A sofa to the air.


No bone had he to bind him,
His speech was like the push
Of numerous humming-birds at once
From a superior bush.


His countenance a billow,
His fingers, if he pass,
Let go a music, as of tunes
Blown tremulous in glass.


He visited, still flitting;
Then, like a timid man,
Again he tapped--'t was flurriedly--
And I became alone.

The Tint I cannot take—is best

627

The Tint I cannot take—is best—
The Color too remote
That I could show it in Bazaar—
A Guinea at a sight—


The fine—impalpable Array—
That swaggers on the eye
Like Cleopatra's Company—
Repeated—in the sky—


The Moments of Dominion
That happen on the Soul
And leave it with a Discontent
Too exquisite—to tell—


The eager look—on Landscapes—
As if they just repressed
Some Secret—that was pushing
Like Chariots—in the Vest—


The Pleading of the Summer—
That other Prank—of Snow—
That Cushions Mystery with Tulle,
For fear the Squirrels—know.


Their Graspless manners—mock us—
Until the Cheated Eye
Shuts arrogantly—in the Grave—
Another way—to see—

The Soul has Bandaged moments

512

The Soul has Bandaged moments-
When too appalled to stir-
She feels some ghastly Fright come up
And stop to look at her-


Salute her-with long fingers-
Caress her freezing hair-
Sip, Goblin, from the very lips
The Lover-hovered-o'er-
Unworthy, that a thought so mean
Accost a Theme-so-fair-


The soul has moments of Escape-
When bursting all the doors-
She dances like a Bomb, abroad,
And swings upon the Hours,


As do the Bee-delirious borne-
Long Dungeoned from his Rose-
Touch Liberty-then know no more,
But Noon, and Paradise-


The Soul's retaken moments-
When, Felon led along,
With shackles on the plumed feet,
And staples, in the Song,


The Horror welcomes her, again,
These, are not brayed of Tongue-

The Heart has narrow Banks

928

The Heart has narrow Banks
It measures like the Sea
In mighty-unremitting Bass
And Blue Monotony

Till Hurricane bisect
And as itself discerns
Its sufficient Area
The Heart convulsive learns

That Calm is but a Wall
Of unattempted Gauze
An instant's Push demolishes
A Questioning-dissolves.

The first Day's Night had come

410

The first Day's Night had come-
And grateful that a thing
So terrible-had been endured-
I told my Soul to sing-

She said her Strings were snapt-
Her Bow-to Atoms blown-
And so to mend her-gave me work
Until another Morn-

And then-a Day as huge
As Yesterdays in pairs,
Unrolled its horror in my face-
Until it blocked my eyes-

My Brain-begun to laugh-
I mumbled-like a fool-
And tho' 'tis Years ago-that Day-
My Brain keeps giggling-still.

And Something's odd-within-
That person that I was-
And this One-do not feel the same-
Could it be Madness-this?

Sweet-safe-Houses


457

Sweet-safe-HousesGlad-
gay-Houses-
Sealed so stately tight-
Lids of Steel-on Lids of Marble-
Locking Bare feet out-

Brooks of Plush-in Banks of Satin
Not so softly fall
As the laughter-and the whisper-
From their People Pearl-

No Bald Death-affront their Parlors-
No Bold Sickness come
To deface their Stately TreasuresAnguish-
and the Tomb-

Hum by-in Muffled Coaches-
Lest they-wonder WhyAny-
for the Press of SmilingInterrupt-
to die-

So proud she was to die

So proud she was to die
It made us all ashamed
That what we cherished, so unknown
To her desire seemed.

So satisfied to go
Where none of us should be,
Immediately, that anguish stooped
Almost to jealousy.

Pain Has An Element

Pain has an element of blank;
It cannot recollect
When it began, or if there were
A day when it was not.


It has no future but itself,
Its infinite realms contain
Its past, enlightened to perceive
New periods of pain.

One need not be a chamber to be haunted,

One need not be a chamber to be haunted,
One need not be a house;
The brain has corridors surpassing
Material place.


Far safer, of a midnight meeting
External ghost,
Than an interior confronting
That whiter host.


Far safer through an Abbey gallop,
The stones achase,
Than, moonless, one's own self encounter
In lonesome place.


Ourself, behind ourself concealed,
Should startle most;
Assassin, hid in our apartment,
Be horror's least.


The prudent carries a revolver,
He bolts the door,
O'erlooking a superior spectre
More near.

Low at my problem bending

69

Low at my problem bending,
Another problem comes-
Larger than mine-Serener-
Involving statelier sums.


I check my busy pencil,
My figures file away.
Wherefore, my baffled fingers
They perplexity?

It would have starved a Gnat

612

It would have starved a Gnat-
To live so small as I-
And yet I was a living Child-
With Food's necessity

Upon me-like a Claw-
I could no more remove
Than I could coax a Leech away-
Or make a Dragon-move-

Not like the Gnat-had I-
The privilege to fly
And seek a Dinner for myself-
How mightier He-than I-

Nor like Himself-the Art
Upon the Window Pane
To gad my little Being out-
And not begin-again-

It might be lonelier

405

It might be lonelier
Without the LonelinessI'm
so accustomed to my Fate-
Perhaps the Other-Peace-

Would interrupt the Dark-
And crowd the little Room-
Too scant-by Cubits-to contain
The Sacrament-of Him-

I am not used to Hope-
It might intrude upon-
Its sweet parade-blaspheme the place-
Ordained to Suffering-

It might be easier
To fail-with Land in Sight-
Than gain-My Blue Peninsula-
To perish-of Delight-

It is easy to work when the soul is at play

244

It is easy to work when the soul is at play-
But when the soul is in pain-
The hearing him put his playthings up
Makes work difficult-then-

It is simple, to ache in the Bone, or the Rind-
But Gimlets-among the nerve-
Mangle daintier-terribler-
Like a Panter in the Glove-

I tried to think a lonelier Thing

532

I tried to think a lonelier Thing
Than any I had seen-
Some Polar Expiation-An Omen in the Bone
Of Death's tremendous nearness-

I probed Retrieverless things
My Duplicate-to borrow-
A Haggard Comfort springs

From the belief that Somewhere-
Within the Clutch of Thought-
There dwells one other Creature
Of Heavenly Love-forgot-

I plucked at our Partition
As One should pry the Walls-
Between Himself-and Horror's Twin-
Within Opposing Cells-

I almost strove to clasp his Hand,
Such Luxury-it grew-
That as Myself-could pity Him-
Perhaps he-pitied me-

I think just how my shape will rise

237

I think just how my shape will rise-
When I shall be "forgiven"-
Till Hair-and Eyes-and timid Head-
Are out of sight-in Heaven-

I think just how my lips will weigh-
With shapeless-quivering-prayer-
That you-so late-"Consider" me-
The "Sparrow" of your Care-

I mind me that of Anguish-sent-
Some drifts were moved away-
Before my simple bosom-broke-
And why not this-if they?

And so I con that thing-"forgiven"Until-
delirious-borne-
By my long bright-and longer-trust-
I drop my Heart-unshriven!

I started Early - Took my Dog

I started Early - Took my Dog -
And visited the Sea -
The Mermaids in the Basement
Came out to look at me -

And Frigates - in the Upper Floor
Extended Hempen Hands -
Presuming Me to be a Mouse -
Aground - upon the Sands -

But no Man moved Me - till the Tide
Went past my simple Shoe -
And past my Apron - and my Belt
And past my Bodice - too -

And made as He would eat me up -
As wholly as a Dew
Upon a Dandelion's Sleeve -
And then - I started - too -

And He - He followed - close behind -
I felt His Silver Heel
Upon my Ankle - Then my Shoes
Would overflow with Pearl -

Until We met the Solid Town -
No One He seemed to know -
And bowing - with a Mighty look -
At me - The Sea withdrew -

I reason, Earth is short

301

I reason, Earth is short-
And Anguish-absolute-
And many hurt,
But, what of that?


I reason, we could die-
The best Vitality
Cannot excel Decay,
But, what of that?


I reason, that in Heaven-
Somehow, it will be even-
Some new Equation, given-
But, what of that?

I like a look of Agony

241

I like a look of Agony,
Because I know it's true-
Men do not sham Convulsion,
Nor simulate, a Throe-

The Eyes glaze once-and that is Death-
Impossible to feign
The Beads upon the Forehead
By homely Anguish strung.