Poems List
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Marcus Valerius Martialis
The virtuous man is never
The virtuous man is never a novice in worldly things.
57
Thomas Babington Macaulay
We must judge a government
We must judge a government by its general tendencies and not by its happy accidents.
36
Thomas Babington Macaulay
Logicians may reason about abstractions.
Logicians may reason about abstractions. But the great mass of men must have images. The strong tendency of the multitude in all ages and nations to idolatry can be explained on no other principle.
45
Jack Handey
Instead of putting a quarter
Instead of putting a quarter under a kid's pillow, how about a pinecone That way, he learns that 'wishing' isn't going to save our national forests.
42
David Joseph Schwartz
All great achievements require time.
All great achievements require time.
34
Thomas Babington Macaulay
Turn where we may, within,
Turn where we may, within, around, the voice of great events is proclaiming to us, Reform, that you may preserve!
49
Steven Wright
I used to work in
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
14
Thomas Babington Macaulay
Time advances: facts accumulate; doubts
Time advances: facts accumulate; doubts arise. Faint glimpses of truth begin to appear, and shine more and more unto the perfect day. The highest intellects, like the tops of mountains, are the first to catch and to reflect the dawn. They are bright, while the level below is still in darkness. But soon the light, which at first illuminated only the loftiest eminences, descends on the plain, and penetrates to the deepest valley. First come hints, then fragments of systems, then defective systems, then complete and harmonious systems. The sound opinion, held for a time by one bold speculator, becomes the opinion of a small minority, of a strong minority, of a majority of mankind. Thus, the great progress goes on.
69
Marcus Valerius Martialis
Why do strong arms fatigue
Why do strong arms fatigue themselves with frivolous dumbbells To dig a vineyard is worthier exercise for men.
44
Thomas Babington Macaulay
Language, the machine of the
Language, the machine of the poet, is best fitted for his purpose in its rudest state. Nations, like individuals, first perceive, and then abstract. They advance from particular images to general terms. Hence the vocabulary of an enlightened society is philosophical, that of a half-civilized people is poetical.
51
Thomas Babington Macaulay
Your Constitution is all sail
Your Constitution is all sail and no anchor.
67
Jack Handey
I think the mistake a
I think the mistake a lot of us make is thinking the state-appointed psychiatrist is our 'friend.'
16
Thomas Babington Macaulay
A church is disaffected when
A church is disaffected when it is persecuted, quiet when it is tolerated, and actively loyal when it is favored and cherished.
53
David Joseph Schwartz
The test of a successful
The test of a successful person is not an ability to eliminate all problems before they arise, but to meet and work out difficulties when they do arise. We must be willing to make an intelligent compromise with perfection lest we wait forever before taking action. It's still good advice to cross bridges as we come to them.
26
Steven Wright
I bought some batteries, but
I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.
35
Heraclitus
A man's character is his
A man's character is his guardian divinity.
37
Heraclitus
It would not be better
It would not be better if things happened to men just as they wish.
64
Marcus Valerius Martialis
Tomorrow's life is too late.
Tomorrow's life is too late. Live today.
40
Heraclitus
There is nothing permanent except
There is nothing permanent except change.
78
Jack Handey
One thing about my Aunt
One thing about my Aunt Nadie She was gruff on the outside, but if you ever needed something, like a spanking or a scolding, she'd give it to you.
38
David Joseph Schwartz
To fight fear, act. To
To fight fear, act. To increase fear--wait, put off postpone.
46
Heraclitus
Immortal mortals, mortal immortals, one
Immortal mortals, mortal immortals, one living the others death and dying the others life.
67
Heraclitus
Character is our destiny.
Character is our destiny.
88
Steven Wright
Last night I stayed up
Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
16
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