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Poems List

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Groucho Marx

Groucho Marx

I sent the club a

I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER.
316
Emeasoba George

Emeasoba George

There is nothing which you

There is nothing which you have presently that's actually an entitlement to you. I mean, your riches/wealth/fame/qualifications/job/career/business/houses/cars/husband/wife/children and what have you? are all end results of God's infinite grace/mercy. So come on, show gratitude to God for his infinite mercy/grace upon your life.
29
Emeasoba George

Emeasoba George

No one knows how strong

No one knows how strong or weak he is or she is, until he or she faces/endures/overcomes tough times.
18
Jack Handey

Jack Handey

Too bad there's not such

Too bad there's not such a thing as a GOLDEN skunk, because you'd probably be PROUD to be sprayed by one.
17
Emeasoba George

Emeasoba George

Faith is just what it

Faith is just what it takes to keep/hold one's end up i.e. to hold one's stand/belief inspite of predicaments of a lifetime. So, you've got to imbibe & portray faith.
22
Angela Schwindt

Angela Schwindt

While we try to teach

While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about.
80
Saint Francis Xavier

Saint Francis Xavier

Give me the children until

Give me the children until they are seven and anyone may have them afterward.
69
Emeasoba George

Emeasoba George

To do oneself justice is

To do oneself justice is just to perform as well as one is able. Take this from me, whoever that does justice to himself/herself/his or her work/career can't and won't be bothered about criticisms no matter the acuteness of the criticism. Anyway, have you been doing justice to yourself/work/career?
23
Emeasoba George

Emeasoba George

Nothing/nobody loses anything it/he/she has/knows

Nothing/nobody loses anything it/he/she has/knows already just by sharing it with something/someone else. Rather, anything/anyone that shares whatever it/he/she has ends up getting/receiving more of it and never less. Therefore, never hesitate to share whatever you have/know with someone/those that needs/need it.
12
Edward Shepherd Mead

Edward Shepherd Mead

Not even computers will replace

Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
39
Jack Handey

Jack Handey

It's probably not a good

It's probably not a good idea to be chewing on a toothpick if you're talking to the president, because what if he tells a funny joke and you laugh so hard you spit the toothpick out and it hits him in the face or something.
49
Emeasoba George

Emeasoba George

Your mouth/tongue is the end

Your mouth/tongue is the end of discussion as far as your destiny is concerned. For, whatever you dare to speak undoubtedly/convincingly to/for yourself presently is what will surely/subsequently/eventually come to pass. Oh! Yes, if you dare to open up your mouth wide now then, God himself will be moved to fill it up with lots of goodies afterwards (Psalms 81 : 10). Therefore, dare to speak positively and never negatively all-round/at all times.
27
Emeasoba George

Emeasoba George

You shouldn't be disheartened because

You shouldn't be disheartened because of mistakes/failures. I mean, mistakes/failures shouldn't dishearten you from trying out something new. For, mistake/failure teaches you much more than mastery/walkover does.
33
Howard Scott

Howard Scott

Criminal A person with predatory

Criminal A person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital to form a corporation.
111
Tom Zegan

Tom Zegan

If you want to master

If you want to master something then it's best to learn from a Master.
25
Orville Wright

Orville Wright

If we all worked on

If we all worked on the assumption that what is accepted as true is really true, there would be little hope of advance.
19
Bette Midler

Bette Midler

I never know how much

I never know how much of what I say is true.
162
Rena Kornreich Gelissen

Rena Kornreich Gelissen

I love, because there is

I love, because there is not enough room in my heart to hate.
57
Otto Frank

Otto Frank

‘I am really close to

‘I am really close to tears: I cry very easily. But I want you to know that I am healthy… I try not to worry and I’m sleeping very well. Of course thoughts of Edith and the children never leave me, but I try to look at things more from the positive than the negative side.’
117
Jack Handey

Jack Handey

The sound of fresh rain

The sound of fresh rain run-off splashing from the roof reminded me of the sound of urine splashing into a filthy Texaco latrine.
68
Otto Frank

Otto Frank

“I still cannot decide whether

“I still cannot decide whether to tell you more comprehensively of some of my experiences – the main thing is that you know I am alive and well. How the thought always torments me, that I have no idea how Edith and the children are, you no doubt understand. I do however hope to see all well again and I do not want to lose hope.’
113
Elias Schwartz

Elias Schwartz

Anything not worth doing is

Anything not worth doing is worth not doing well. Think about it.
35
Steven Wright

Steven Wright

When I woke up this

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.'
27
Otto Frank

Otto Frank

One day in Auschwitz I

One day in Auschwitz I became so dispirited that I couldn't carry on. They had given me a beating, which wasn't exactly a pleasant experience. It was on a Sunday, and I said: 'I can't get up'. Then my comrades said: 'That's impossible, you have to get up, otherwise you're lost'. They went to a Dutch doctor, who worked with the German doctor. He came to me in the barracks and said: 'Get up and come to the hospital barracks early tomorrow morning. I'll talk to the German doctor and make sure you are admitted'. Because of that I survived.
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