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Ogden Nash

Ogden Nash

The Centipede I objurgate

The Centipede
I objurgate the centipede,
A bug we do not really need.
At sleepy-time he beats a path
Straight to the bedroom or the bath.
You always wallop where he's not,
Or, if he is, he makes a spot.
130
Helmuth von Moltke

Helmuth von Moltke

First weigh the considerations, then

First weigh the considerations, then take the risks.
15
Jack Handey

Jack Handey

Today I accidentally stepped on

Today I accidentally stepped on a snail on the sidewalk in front of our house. And I thought, I too am like that snail. I build a defensive wall around myself, a 'shell' if you will. But my shell isn't made out of a hard, protective substance. Mine is made out of tinfoil and paper bags.
58
Ogden Nash

Ogden Nash

The Cantaloupe One cantaloupe

The Cantaloupe
One cantaloupe is ripe and lush,
Another's green, another's mush.
I'd buy a lot more cantaloupe
If I possessed a fluoroscope.
99
Ogden Nash

Ogden Nash

Samson Agonistes I test

Samson Agonistes
I test my bath before I sit,
And I'm always moved to wonderment
That what chills the finger not a bit
Is so frigid upon the fundament.
147
Seng-T'San

Seng-T'San

If an eye never falls

If an eye never falls asleep, All dreams will by themselves cease If the mind retains its absoluteness, The ten thousand things are of one suchness.
38
Ogden Nash

Ogden Nash

Kipling's Vermont The summer

Kipling's Vermont
The summer like a rajah dies,
And every widowed tree
Kindles for Congregationalist eyes
An alien suttee.
113
Lu Yen

Lu Yen

Heaven is not the wide

Heaven is not the wide blue sky but the place where corporeality is begotten in the house of the Creative.
21
The Mishnah

The Mishnah

Say not, when I have

Say not, when I have leisure I will study you may not have leisure.
19
Ogden Nash

Ogden Nash

Grandpa Is Ashamed A

Grandpa Is Ashamed
A child need not be very clever
To learn that "Later, dear" means "Never."
108
Jack Handey

Jack Handey

I think a cute movie

I think a cute movie idea would be about a parrot who is raised by eagles. It would be cute because the parrot can't seem to act like an eagle. After a while, though, to keep the movie from getting boring, maybe put in some pornography. Later, we see the happy parrot flying along, acting like an eagle. He see two parrots below and starts to attack, but it's his parents. Then, some more pornography.
9
Ogden Nash

Ogden Nash

Family Court One would

Family Court
One would be in less danger
From the wiles of a stranger
If one's own kin and kith
Were more fun to be with.
148
William Sessions

William Sessions

Looking back on my life,

Looking back on my life, I wish I'd stepped forward and made a fool of myself more often when I was younger -- because when you do, you find out you can do it.
21
Ogden Nash

Ogden Nash

Biological Reflection A girl

Biological Reflection
A girl whose cheeks are covered with paint
Has an advantage with me over one whose ain't.
111
Lu Yen

Lu Yen

The secret of the magic

The secret of the magic of life consists in using action in order to attain non-action. One must not wish to leap over everything and penetrate directly.
25
Matsuo Basho

Matsuo Basho

What fish feel What

What fish feel
What fish feel,
birds feel, I don't know--
the year ending.
Translated by Robert Hass
231
Roger Moore

Roger Moore

I enjoy being a highly

I enjoy being a highly overpaid actor.
18
Matsuo Basho

Matsuo Basho

The dragonfly The dragonfly

The dragonfly
The dragonfly
can't quite land
on that blade of grass.
Translated by Robert Hass
214
Jack Handey

Jack Handey

If you're a circus clown,

If you're a circus clown, and you have a dog that you use in your act, I don't think it's a good idea to also dress the dog up like a clown, because people see that and they think, 'Forgive me, but that's just too much.'
32
Matsuo Basho

Matsuo Basho

Don't imitate me Don't

Don't imitate me
Don't imitate me;
it's as boring
as the two halves of a melon.
Translated by Robert Hass
242
Mao Zedong

Mao Zedong

Militia Women Inscription on a

Militia Women Inscription on a Photograph

How bright and brave they look, shouldering five-foot rifles
On the parade ground lit up by the first gleams of day.
China's daughters have high-aspiring minds,
They love their battle array, not silks and satins.
349
Maurice Sendak

Maurice Sendak

There must be more to

There must be more to life than having everything.
46
Anzia Yenerska

Anzia Yenerska

Was she so loved because

Was she so loved because her eyes were so beautiful, or were her eyes so beautiful because she was so loved
31
Khalil Gibran

Khalil Gibran

Pain XVI Hi There!

Pain XVI
Hi There! I see you're enjoying the site, and just wanted to extend an invitiation to
register for our free site. The members of oldpoetry strive to make this a fun place to
learn and share - hope you join us! - Kevin
188